It is said by many, that the first year after the death of a loved one is the worst. Each birthday and anniversary seems to open the wound again and push the reset button on the pain.  It is impossible to predict how we will react as we reach these landmarks.

While it is possible to deny the grief, and postpone the mourning process, there is a high cost to be paid. At the opposite extreme are those who get stuck in the quicksand of grief and cannot move forward at all. Between those two extremes lies the daunting task of mourning the loss and building a new life.  The pain is slowly incorporated into this new version of ourselves and no longer consumes us. 

Having survived those "first times" no matter how painful, the work of becoming that new person lies before us. Armed with the sure knowledge that we have and will continue to go on without them, we keep putting one foot in front of the other. Spring is a miracle every single year. The barrenness gives way to new growth. Hope blooms. 

It is impossible to find our way alone. The voices of those who have walked this path before us promise that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. They are, in fact, holding the light for us so we can find our way out. Without them, we are lost, wandering in the darkness of our grief. 

Latest comments

22.04 | 09:40

Is letting go part of us facing the pain right now and doing the grief and mourning work? So we can get to the collateral beauty? Would l love to reach that place but not quite sure how?

22.04 | 08:27

Sounds like you have lots of good family support.T.y.for explaining the importance of family &extended family connections through this awfull time.

22.04 | 02:20

Love the imagination about how to deliver the fun.The little ones sound so precious.I especially like the very end of this story.hard but true.working on it.

22.04 | 02:13

I found giving their things to charity to help someone else to be the most helpfull & rewarding at the same time.including his favorite car to a legitimate mission. your transparancy is so helpfull &

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